funfabSAVED

After graduating High school. i found myself asking god "What do you want from me?" & "What am i supposed to be doing?" a lot. Every time i bent my knees to pray these words were coming out of my lips and out of my heart.
I couldn't understand why i was this AMAZING person who's life was only getting crappier. Once the depression set in, i was convinced this was either my destiny, or God was just an acquired taste, and my metaphorical taste buds did not acquire that taste. i mean, i KNEW in my head god loved me, but i often felt like he didn't like me very much. This love he seemed to have for me, this love that everyone talked about was contractional. he was obligated to love everyone, but no one said you had to like everyone. i mean that's what the bible says. or at least that's what were taught. right? i mean, cmon god! i'm asking what you want me to do which OBVIOUSLY means i wanna live for you!  i was so sure that is what that meant that i had to completely suicidal before the right answer came.

It wasn't until the day that i ACCEPTED the cross. i always said to myself "there could've been another way", "it couldn't have been that bad they all knew it was coming" "if god was all knowing why did he even create lucifer. he knew this was coming". the cross meant nothing to me because i constantly blamed god for transgression and why bad things happen, ESP to good people. i just wasn't interested in taking the blame. However, once i stopped trying to blame someone and saw life for what it was, once i stopped making it ALL ABOUT ME i was then able to see exactly what the cross did for me! for ALL of us!
The cross is FREEDOM!
it's a freedom i can't explain, it's only something you have to experience for yourself. If you ever need a sign of the status of your heart, check the way you pray.

a heart of gratitude will Change your "What do you want FROM me?" to "What can i do FOR you?"

That is what it really means to be FunFabSAVED!

<3 ∞