How to Get fit on a $0 budget.

and no, this isn't a Jesus Juke, or a hippie feelings session.

It's real life. We all have come up with millions of reasons to not get/be/live health filled lives.

I don't know what your excuse is and I'm not gonna guess by listing possible scenarios. I will, however, tell you what mine are were: No money. And not the "eating healthy is expensive" excuse or the "once I can afford workout apparel and a Gym membership I'll do it" excuse.

No, I am actually living on a pack -of- ramen-a-day budget due to having a literal income of zero dollars, and it seems like a legit excuse but it's really just a crutch. Just like the fact that I have bad knees and I need better shoes & because my boobs are so big (how big are they? lol. I had to.) I need to get better bras. blah. blah. blah.

Just so many reason and excuses I thought were legit & I know you guys can relate.

but no. - Just. get. it. done. - You deserve more. Your body deserves more.

Over the past few years I have developed a few tricks and habits that I can always put into practice no matter what! They aren't really groundbreaking but They require zero money and are completely hassle free.

No more excuse, eh? - You deserve more. Your body deserves more.

idk whose photo this is. not property of funfabsaved. found it on tumblr.

Here are a few small but effective $0 - hassle free tips to kickstart your spiritual, mental & physical wellness:

Drink Water: I know. I know. cliche. but seriously, Drink water AND NOTHING ELSE! Water is the richest, freest resource you have. and I get it. This is America. Land of the free.Home of the water needs to be filtered and mineralized and purified and sparkling. smh. No. Shut it down. - I also understand that the WV situation doesn't instill confidence in the tap, but honey.... say a pray. Drink some water. - There are ways to naturally enhance your water but that is for another time. Remember we are on a $0 budget.

Poop: *sigh* smelliest taboo. but seriously - DO YOU POOP? and what is the consistency of your stool? Pls don't answer these in the comments section (or do, idc) - No one EVER wants to talk about bowel movement but it is so very important, your poop tells a lot about the state of your body. unless you are passing movement frequently- like you gotta at least get the urge after every meal(not the post taco bell Bubble gut urge) - you might be constipated and that's just never good. - I know every body and every situation is different but what I realized, for myself, was no matter what I ate as long as I am consistent with drinking water and staying active - my poop is pretty regular.(no this is not a free pass to eat whatever you want. What you eat matters - if you CAN clean it up, CLEAN IT UP!) - Moral of the story: KNOW YOUR POOP!

Breath: I get it, this list just officially got stupid -  obviously you are breathing because duh. but are you taking deep breaths? are you allowing your air to flow sufficiently through your body? are your breaths intentional? are your muscles open? are your nerves relaxed?

Take a moment. or three. When you wake up. in the middle of your day and before bed to sit still and breath. - Deep. fill your lungs. in through your nose. slowly. out through your mouth. slowly. 

If you feel sleepy and lightheaded your doing it right.

SIT UP: Stop slouching. not only does better posture INSTANTLY slim and elongate you..... errmm... idk what else it does. I'm sure something good. - chin up. chest out. shoulders back. back straight. BOOM. your 3in slimmer & 2in taller. You look a little more confident and will begin to feel a little more confident.

Sing: Yes, Sing. any song. any time. anywhere. - idk the science behind it - but singing and I mean really belting out those "notes" causes you to use some tummy muscles I personally never knew existed. not only do you get a mild workout. it's fun and you always, even if your singing a sad song, feel better after wards. 

Dance: let loose. foot loose. kick of your sunday shoes. uninhibited. let your body go. let it all hang out and just release. move where your body takes you. let your body lead the moment. - this is a TOTAL body workout that requires nothing but your.... body. & like singing there is something therapeutic and freeing in movement like this. It's unstructured. its messy. it's chaotic. but it's the beautiful kind. The kind that lets you know that right know in this moment. everything is OK!

Utilize your resources: After discovering that I wouldn't be able to buy a sports bra for a very long time. I decided to workout without a bra at all - because seriously who even LIKEs wearing regular bras - why am i tripping about a contraption that is going to SMAH my DDD into my chin - I knew I could not traditionally exercise. I had to find other ways to stay active. for instance: Park far away at the grocery store. Take the stairs as often as possible. look into Yoga poses. Do wall sits every day - You know your life, get creative, or just research ways to home remedy workouts - even if its as little as five minutes of your day. get your heart rate up and your blood flowing.

Say Nice things: [Yea- it Got cheesy! Deal.] Honestly, be nice: To yourself and to others. In a world were a healthy body is a prominent goal. our souls and our hearts often get left behind. Speak words of kindness. only allow words of kindness to be spoken to your heart. There are numerous tumblr blogs. Facebook pages & Pinterest boards that are full of kind, heartfelt messages. it may seem cheesy but honestly it helps. - This may be the most important $0 health tip because no matter how well you take care of yourself physically unless you are also nurturing your mental everything else will be for naught.

Go Forth and prosper my Fun Fabulous Friends!

OMG! Cool it, It's JUST a box.

The Email came. "your Package has arrived."
A day early, I absolutely love when that happens.
I ran out to retrieve the precious treasure in nothing but my underwear and a cami.
It was 9°.
I was excited.


As I tore the box to shreds, I look over at the the cup of noodles I just made.
To eat or to try on these new clothes. oh how hard this life of mine is.(87% sarcasm. 13%sincere)
"You don't want that" She whispers as she appears frail, bony & weak atop my right shoulder.
Oh, hello old friend. Your right, I don't.
Trying on clothes it is.

Pair after pair I squeeze into various GH leggings, jeggings & undies.
They don't fit like I remember. I don't feel. cute. sexy. slim.
There is a lot of sucking, tucking and squeezing. This can't be real - Each time I look into the mirror growing more and more dissatisfied with what is looking back.

I mean, The clothes fit, and I need them [because my lord if I have to wear those ill fitting leather wash DKNY legging I might enter a convent JUST for the outfits,] but my goodness I can stand to loose 5 or 10 lbs. "or 50" she whispers. "loosing 50 won't put you at an unhealthy weight" She's right.

I look back over at the cup of noodles on my desk. That familiar comfort washed over me as my stomach grumbles. "Stop looking. Don't eat that" she says a little louder this time. "You really don't need it"

No. Not again. She is wrong. I take a swig of zinfandel. not even bothering with a cup.
I'm stronger than that.

I go to pick up my cup of noodles, prepared to take a bite.

"You go girl! Don't let that crazy broad run you" loudly proclaims her robust evil twin, as she appears atop my left shoulder. "Eat! These noodles. also there is some pizza rolls in the freezer, and while your at it. pop open the shiraz!" I look over at all the new clothes piled on top of my bed.

I take another swig of zinfandel.
didn't even put up a fight. didn't even try. not even sure I wanted to.
powerless.
I fight off the advances of one SHEdemon to succumb to the prowess of the other.

I can't help it. I indulge. Gluttonous shame washing over me bite after bite.
But I was hungry. because I hadn't eaten. well, much anyways...
...And if I were to lay it all down, it wouldn't seem like that much food.
but it was. for me.
too much.
eating so fast until I can't breath because how dare you tell me not to eat?
Who do you think you are putting the idea in my head that skinny automatically means beautiful. I'm not that person anymore. For the longest I didn't like my body because I thought a man wouldn't like my body.
How dare you?

"yea, how dare you - let the girl eat!" proudly boasts the robust to the frail.
"Just stop eating"  whispers the frail to the robust
"thin isn't beauty" retorts the robust
"Fat is ugly" says the frail a little louder gaining her strength.

Atop each shoulder they go back and forth and forth and back.

Crap, zinfandel is gone. Shiraz is heavy - it's for dinner.
who cares.
Takes a swig of shiraz.

Torn between the voices shouting at each other between my head I remember the laxatives hidden in the back off my Drawer of Important stuff.

That'll silence these incessant broads. - My Goodness.

This afternoon started off so simple. New, much needed, super cute clothes turned into an actual ordeal. - Ugh! Why is my life this way?

"Purge."
"Purge."
"Purge."
"Purge."
"Purge."

The robust and the frail, evil twins sitting atop my shoulders, are finally in agreement.
Purging means everybody wins.

Crap, No. I don't want to do that.
I don't win that way.

"oh who really cares" says the robust getting slightly annoyed "seriously, look at all the food you just ate. We both know your gonna do it Just freaking get it over with."

Contemplating what was being said to me. I remembered the workout I had this morning. the water I have been drinking instead of the alcohol that was beginning to replace my blood. The encouraging and motivating words my supremely fabulous pastors wife continuously shared across my FB feed. I thought about who I was. who I am and where I want to go.

Take a deep breath.

Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.

And just like that, they were gone.

Two evils. Sitting atop my shoulders. whispering lies into my soul, disappeared.
I know not forever. but for now. and when they come back. I will be ready.
Each time they come back I will be more and more prepared.

Fin.

Recovery is a journey and I am so grateful to God that mine is headed in the right direction.

.camryN.

Finally had a movie moment.
The long, dramatic, emotional good bye.
The nostalgic music scoring the "cleaning up' montage.
The flashbacks playing on the panorama of my mind.

Never realized or thought saying good bye would be so hard, yet here I sit,  clinging tight to every memory and experience. Literally any adjective can describe my experiences and memories. So much of my character was molded through this, the restoration, the confirmation, the strengthening, and while I am not much of a cryer, I wouldn't be surprised if a couple of tears fell as I watch down the road as I say Good bye to a very large part of me.

and as much as it unexpectedly hurts to say Good bye, There is no point in holding on to something so broken because, as I boldly forge ahead, God is teaching, when I let go of the broken the floodgates open for God to breath new life into these dry bones. these dry lands. these dry experiences.

Walking into a new season has never been more liberating and terrifying and exciting and just plain old stupid. But by golly I am ready.

For a new season, for new experience, for new memories, for a new car.

Yes, all these feels are brought forth as I get rid of my "first" car.

Jesus, speaks in the strangest of ways don't he?

xoxo,

Jesi