Two words that will change your Wednesday...

Yea, I know. 

I'm a Swagger Jacker. 
I promise, This is a one time steal.

It's Rae's fault for being so talented and amazing;)

These two words have been resting heavy on my heart for over a month and I decided what better way to share them, than through the highest form of flattery, honoring the one who inspires me the [second] most.

Sabbath & Sanctuary.

Sabbath in it's Native Greek and Hebrew means 'To Rest'

Sanctuary: a place of refuge and safety

In life we will face pleasures and displeasures.

There is no systematic way to avoid it.

There is only one constant that intensifies the pleasure and soothes the heart in displeasure. 

God's Love.

Let's not wait until we are hurting to hold on to his heart.

Lean in in every moment, through the Good and the bad and enjoy the Sabbath Rest that God Created for us and take Sanctuary in his heart.
Also, you can and should take an actual Sabbath  and find an actual Sanctuary.


  1cor2.9 - He's God big plans for us;)

xoxo

Baby, I swear it's...

Deja vu.
I get it alot.
Like a lot, a lot.

And not your typical "whoa, this is familiar" deja vu.

I'm talkin the "world spinning, soul shocking, specific details of sound, taste, sight and smell" deja vu.

it's pretty intense and so deeply imbedded in my pschye that for a while I thought I had "the gift". I secretly still think that I do and since Ive been traveling so much lately I've secretly been wishing it to be true.

However after all this time trying to muddle through the mysteries of my psyche, I think I realized the what and why of my deja vu.

Recently, like a couple days ago, I prayed a prayer asking God to open doors that needed to be opened and closed doors that needed to be closed. And he did. Literally. Not even a full 60 seconds after that prayer, I got up closed the door to my sister's bedroom, realized I left something the bathroom and discovered I was locked in.

Locked in.

I was technically locked in my sisters bedroom like a disney princess, but I was also locked in the season of life that I have so desperately trying to get out of.

As I layed on the floor hysterically laughing from the reality of my life and how these things manage to happen to me, I rolled on my stomach and there it was.

Deja vu.

A lingering familiarity of sight, smell and feel. The stale smell of a new apartment carpet, the hairfilled dust bunnies under the bed from hand sweeping, the rough feel of crumbs underneath my elbows scatterd across the floor as if someone ate crackers in bed and quickly tried to hide the evidence.

I've been here before.

I'm supposed to be here now.

and then it hit me...Deja vu, for me, had been nothing more than foreshadowing.

I see glimpses of my future, and thats how I know I am exactly where God wants me, when he wants me there.

Deja vu catapults my heart towards Jesus and drops me right at the place we all need to see before we die.

All in all it's just really cool to have that confirmation.

I am his and he is mine.

XOXO

Tastes like crow...

Or maybe I should call it "Man, Matthew 7 really messed me up"

I can admit that I can be...oh who am I kidding I am judgemental... not extremely, and not about everything... just a lot to very, about health and eating. However I have always felt justified in my actions because of Matthew 7, plus I'm a big girl, I can take what I dish...

...despite my appearance of physical unhealth and my eating disorder, I am a generally healthy person... more healthy than most... Because of my ED and the destruction of my colon it takes a little extra time and effort for me to loose body fat(people dnt know that)... Even still I am a proud  of my good health, I am knowledgable and passionate about health and I reserve the right to judge...

That is until I was judged about my appearance while eating a salad that tasted alot like crow(I also have a bad habit of judging people's interpretation of healthy eating)...

I was sitting down having a very casual conversation with very pregnant, very hormonal sister, somehow the topic of food came up and how she doesn't eat vegetables. Perpelexed at how one could enjoy a meal sans veggies I suggested she eat local and fresh, I tried to dispel the "it cost too much to eat healthy" myth, and I introduced her to pure barre....a low impact highly effective workout regimen; all in all I was just tryna help a sistah out!

As she sat intently listening, do you know what she said to me?

"I don't want to hear anything about health & fitness from you until you have a 6pack"

...and there it was.

In the manner in which I made a habit of judging, I was being judged.

Listen, Jesus wasn't on the mount spitting a sermon for his health, he gave us a peice of his heart through these words to admonish and encourage our hearts to be open and compassionate; we haven't been given a free pass to insert our haughty and pious opinions into other people's lives; and for our own good.

He knew that not even a spoon full of sugar will help the taste of our own medicine go down.

"Judge not lest ye be judged, for the measure in  which ye judge ye also shall be judged..." Matthew 7:1-2KJV

XOXO

Breaking up is hard to do...

....that's probably why most of us don't it... and even when we do it's not the initial severe of the tie that sucks the most; it's the maintenance, the continuation, it's keeping that tie severed. It's those memories and moments of nostalgia, it's the moments of sadness and lonliness, wanting and longing. It's the joy, and fun and happiness and warmth.

No matter the trigger, no matter the break up, I think we can all agree that breaking up is hard to do.

Lucky for us, Jesus died for breakups, whether they be from people, things or vices.

and through that sacrafice Jesus calls for a strength exchange.

Meditate on that promise. Idk about you but that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

xoxo

I am a fraud.

It's probably my most obnoxious quality. Announcing at any amd every given moment that I, Jesi Rae, and am an adventourous women; that when it comes to seeking thrills, im practically fearless.
By no means is this a way to convince anyone, not even myself, of my hippie lifestyle amd gypsy soul. I just take pride in the fact that my spirit is free and I can take on any challenge without any fear.
Unless of course said challenge has spiders involved... Thats just another story.
*How do I know, how does anyone know If  God will open the doors to DO our dreams?*
*plain and simple? we don't. we don't know if he will open the doors. and honestly? that IS the beauty of the chase. the suspense? the not knowing? the fear, the worry...the doubt...the feelings of inadequacy. this is all where God does His beautiful work in our lives.*
They're funny. The subtle or not so subtle ways God uses to remind us of our need for him. I find the irony quite hilarious that I cling tight to my self proclaimed sense of adventure yet the very thought/idea of making even the smallest decision without total  miraculous confirmation from God himself scares me so deeply into survival mode I loose my entire religion. How can I take pride in being a "QueenofThrills" when I constantly run scared from the most intense thrill and biggest adventure I will every face in my life?
I'm a fraud and that is just not cool.
Fearlessly and shamelessly chasing after the heart of God, boldly trusting in who he is? There is no thrill more intense, there is no greater adventure.
I'm ready Jesus.
Game on!