I am a fraud.

It's probably my most obnoxious quality. Announcing at any amd every given moment that I, Jesi Rae, and am an adventourous women; that when it comes to seeking thrills, im practically fearless.
By no means is this a way to convince anyone, not even myself, of my hippie lifestyle amd gypsy soul. I just take pride in the fact that my spirit is free and I can take on any challenge without any fear.
Unless of course said challenge has spiders involved... Thats just another story.
*How do I know, how does anyone know If  God will open the doors to DO our dreams?*
*plain and simple? we don't. we don't know if he will open the doors. and honestly? that IS the beauty of the chase. the suspense? the not knowing? the fear, the worry...the doubt...the feelings of inadequacy. this is all where God does His beautiful work in our lives.*
They're funny. The subtle or not so subtle ways God uses to remind us of our need for him. I find the irony quite hilarious that I cling tight to my self proclaimed sense of adventure yet the very thought/idea of making even the smallest decision without total  miraculous confirmation from God himself scares me so deeply into survival mode I loose my entire religion. How can I take pride in being a "QueenofThrills" when I constantly run scared from the most intense thrill and biggest adventure I will every face in my life?
I'm a fraud and that is just not cool.
Fearlessly and shamelessly chasing after the heart of God, boldly trusting in who he is? There is no thrill more intense, there is no greater adventure.
I'm ready Jesus.
Game on!