Fool Me once...

I wish I could say "ya'll", I mean I do say "y'all" and every time I do my father turns in his grave, but In this particular case I wish I could say "ya'll" and point the finger to everyone else.

It's so sucky when there is something you know you are doing is wrong, and you know you should do it, and you have heard countless times the damage things can do. Yet, you find yourself in the same situations. I mean it sucks because you know better, you are better.

Vices comes in many different shapes and forms.

Mine: Comparison.

There are so many talents out there and I have been blessed to befriend some of the best of the best. I try to trick myself, by saying "I'm not comparing, I am admiring".  I tell my brain so many lies that by the end of the thought process, I am convinced that this big dream I have been chasing isn't the dream I should be chasing after all.

Forgetting the utter joy and inexpressible peace I get from chasing my dreams, and following my own path in this life, the moment, I look in someone else's lane, is the moment I trip over my own feet and land face first into the floor.

Duh Jes, you knew that comparison drained all the blood from your veins and leaves you skeletal. Duh!
That's what makes it so frustrating because I KNOW, how wrong/bad it is. I don't need to be told.

but then again maybe I do need to be reminded, because maybe I don't know. Maybe I haven't learned the lesson, because here i am still comparing my life to others...

bleh, I am not a fan of being told thing I already know, and God ia fan of telling me things I already know.

I think I better get used to the reminders, cuz once i hear them, everything is my world is just... ok.

For I AM his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.[Eph2.10ESV]

My path is already laid out, so need to look around comparing, it's tailored to me, Iv'e already won, and so is yours and so have you;)

xoxo

[G]nat.

I have learned something about myself,

When it, whatever it may be, gets boring, I get moving.

and it usually gets boring after I have completed/accomplished/succeeded it.

Does that make sense?

I really wish my attention span was longer.

Call me a free spirit, call me non committal.

I'm probably a little bit of both.

Be sure to follow creed and cloth on twitter.

I'm not sure how I became bored with my dreams but here I am, 

ready for new,

ready for different,

ready for adventure.

 I have that insatiable itch to seek a thrill.

Am I alone in this? Do you guys get bored easily?

Even with things you have wanted your whole life?

I can't help but wonder: is this a sign of immaturity, or has my genetic make-up predestined me on a relentless pursuit of adventure?

small waves and high tides.

Change.
I wish I had some profound, acrobatical vernacular that could blow minds and revoluinize the way we look at change, but alas I do not.
I just sit here with a heavy heart because my pastor, and my friend, and the person I owe so much of my graditude is moving, to the other side of the country after 10+years and eveything I have ever known will completely change in a little under a month.
Change is good, change is constant. change is most times out of our control. this I know.
However, I am experiancing a new emotion that I just can't seem to figure out.
I must sound so silly.
Burdened by numerous unanswerable questions 'Why?' being prominent  I began to think about change on a larger scale. ?re the waves of change something you just ride out while you continue business as usual, or is change, the high tides of reconstruction something you must sit and process and allow to reconfigure your life?
What are some hands on, practical, ways you deal with change?
xoxo

.Jesus' Hugs.

This morning I woke up, 3hrs prior to my normal wake up time, facing my window to the perfect twilight.
Before I even had time to be annoyed at how early I was awake for what seemed like no reason, I realized, for a quick moment Jesus woke me up just so I could see the perfect color block of the sky line. I am early bird by nature but I am never that early a bird. Not quite sunrise, not quite dawn.  It's a quick and delicate time of day that is easily missed.
I won't even attempt with words to describe the magnificence that I saw.
All I can say is I opened my eyes and my heart overflowed with gratitude so much so that my lips just wouldn't keep quiet.

regardless of what it feels/seems; you are never alone.
hebrews13.5

I love when Jesus hugs me, because it is always in the most subtle ways, but are undeniable. Jesus' hugs are those moments in time when the stars align but for a split second and everything is perfectly tailored to you. Jesus' hugs are when the creator of the universes makes you feel like the only person to have ever existed ever. Like regular hugs, Jesus' hugs don't linger, they are quick, but unlike regular hugs, Jesus' hugs leave a stamp on your psyche so deeply imprinted that you will never forget whose you are.

Those moments of twilight, not quite sunrise, not quite dawn, Jesus woke me up to give me a big bear hug and then gently laid me back to sleep.

I love Jesus, He really gives the best hugs.

Shine Bright.

I never knew how to be happy.

up until yesterday that is.

I'm not sure if this was learned behavior or something innate.

All I knew was that "Happy" was just the calm between the storm.

"happy" never really existed in my life.

up until yesterday that is.

I caught myself soaking up the moment with my family, the sunshine of the day the greenery that went on for miles in wildwood, GA. 

I caught myself smiling for no reason, laughing with whimsy, and I realized a peace of mind that I've never experienced.

I felt help, true happiness, not based on circumstances or possessions.

Not Joy(so keep your jesus juke in your pocket)

Pure, blissful, satisfying, Happiness.

It didn't last very long, but it lasted long enough to leave an impression.

It's no secret that I feel like Life is the worst. I mean, I say it all the time and I genuinely feel like it is. However, I am learning that it doesn't have to be.

Life is either excruciatingly long or shockingly short.

We really don't know which is the case for ourselves.

The Best way to live is to take in every moment for what it is. a moment.

You know bad thing are gonna happen, you know good things will happen. You cannot avoid or anticipate either.

Just ride the wave and take in the breeze. 

one moment at a time.

Certified Fabulous Challenge -- April

Month 3 of the Certified Fab challenge and it's getting a little tougher, but I am excited to keep this up, because I really do feel better about who I am:)

certifiedffab.tumblr.com

The First of every month I have dedicated to ME!

A shameless celebration of who God created me to be.

I know from the outside looking in this may seem like a vanity project, but for someone who lives in a perpetual state of self loathing this is a healing process. Trust me;)

Each month I will list 3 different thing about myself that I like, 3 different thing about life that I am grateful for, and 3 insecurities that I have reconciled.

What do I like about myself?

I like my sense of humor.

I like that I am loyal. 

I like that I am giving.

What am I grateful for?

I am grateful that my first Ebook is FINALLY available.

I am grateful for that I got to see and spend time with my Best friend this past month.

I am grateful for my sister.

3 insecurities I have reconciled:

I used to hate that I have hair on my arms and i would seriously shave like everyday, now it's not that big a deal. I still shave but not as incessantly.

I used to not like wearing makeup, because Idk, what I was afraid of, but there was some fear there, now I am pretty much obsessed with lipstick because I love my lips so much!

I used to be insecure about my hands... i didn't like them because they are pretty manly, however, I realized I have too much going on for me to be sitting here hating my hands, they are my tools. I now appreciate them, and the fact that they work.

Wanna Take the challenge with me?

Download the image above, add it to your post and make a tri-list of your own!

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