Desperate Times...

I often explain my testimony as an "everything changed yet nothing has changed" kind of experience.

Like, I went from trying to kill myself to happily and relentlessly chasing my dreams without any major occurrence or grand gesture, other than the fact that Jesus came in and rewired some things, 

I was literally an overnight transformation.

I've always felt that this was my situation so that I wouldn't be able to take credit or give credit to anyone and anything other than God,

But here we are two years (technically 7) later and things still haven't changed.

I mean yea, I see a change and a growth in my character and my personality and my relationships with God as well as others, however there is still a very deep lacking for the things that I truly want and have been wanting for as long as I can remember. My situation and circumstance has been the same for two years. (technically 7).

I just don't understand, WHAT GIVES?

I realized that my life and the way that God has designed it with this "nothing changed yet everything changed" kind of testimony is teaching more than to give credit to God and God alone, it is also and more importantly teaching me how to be persistent without being desperate.

It's human nature, when you want something so deeply and for so long, our morals and values and expectations begin to sink and we end up settling for less than because we feel that something is better than nothing.

However, that isn't how God wants us living our lives, He is a King and we are his royalty, He wants nothing but the absolute best for us.

Desperately holding on to a promise is not that same as desperately accepting whatever is thrown our way.

A promise from God is worth more than anything life can offer us.

I know it seems like you've been waiting forever, but don't be desperate.

That's never a good look.

tis all.

xoxo