Jesus Loves Rih this i know.

Disclaimer: This is in no way an endorsement or a promotion of ANYTHING but the love of God through the sharing of my heart and life experience. 

Here's the backstory: I've always been a fan of Rihanna. Since 2005. When 'pon de replay' came out and I just knew I was from the left side of somebodies island. It was not a pretty sight. I was also 15 so that should excuse me, at least a little bit. Over the years as I began to grow in christ and my "ways" began to change my music tastes began to change as well, including my love for Rihanna, and although I never complete ditched "secular music",(I really dislike that term, but whatever) I was mostly only into CCM.
Just recently she released a new album and I was kind of excited for it. It was odd to me that I was as excited as I was because my itunes most played list over the last couple of years consisted of Britt nicole, Jimmy Needham, Jamie Grace, The arrows(the south african  pop duo, not the 70's rock band) and  most recently Selah[just to name a few].
When her album 'Unapologetic' debuted I listened to it and of course I loved it because duh, I've always loved her music. One song in particular stood out to me. It's called "right now" and it's a super techno dance pop record. Now without doing a full lyrical breakdown, just know the chorus spoke directly to my life situation. Spoiler alert: it's a carpe diem anthem. The first verse spoke words of my feelings towards God and the second toward my feelings for my dreams.

One night as I was driving down the road singing the song at the tippy top of my lungs, I couldn't help but smile. I realize Rihanna's music isn't very conducive to my spiritual well being. I realize her music doesn't glorify the one I call my savior and yet what The Devil meant for evil God used for good! Even in my shortcomings God found a way to show me that he loves me and his eyes are on me. He revealed himself to me through a Rihanna song. He's so cool. I love him. That is all.

<3 ∞,
JesiRae

A page from my journal: Literally.

Why I stopped drinking. 11.27.12

Seriously, this is my journal.

Basically, it clouded my intuition & made me loose confidence in Christ.
My drinking habits aren't typical for most my age. I don't drink to get drunk... it's always like a celebratory cocktail/wine/Champagne every now and then(why am i flexin in my journal? it was more often than I'm letting on.) So I honestly didn't see it to be 'wrong'.  It was only a knowledge that it was wrong. I didn't even realize the problem until today. Me and Jesus were cool, website was done... so I had a drink. ONE DRINK to celebrate and also help me sleep cuz it was late and I was excited. I woke up, had my devo as usual & everything was cool, until I randomly started over thinking and questioning everything about everything i had been doing... the old me was back... like peter on the water(lol. yes i use analogies in my journal). To this day I still don't see the big deal in drinking socially and scarcely but as for me....Jesus is way better.

As you can see this is a new journey I am taking with Jesus, but I am certain I'll be ok. It's not an easy thing, but I haven't had a drink since i wrote this. So yea... Follow me on twitter to hear about my cocktail cravings;)

<3 ∞,

JesiRae

Don't Call it a comeback, Call it something else.

Hey ya'll, welcome to funfabSAVED! 
It is my absolute honor that I am able to finally properly relaunch my blog and share a part of my heart with the world. It's been a long time coming, but here we are:) [Can we give props to Jena! how AMAZING is my logo?] Coming from a world were dreaming isn't really a popular opinion, choosing to be a dreamer, breaking away from what is considered normal and walking in my own path wasn't easy, but let me tell you, it was well worth it. Knowing that the launch of this site is a small portion of my dreams coming true was definitely worth the [proverbial] risk. When I say I am excited out this stratosphere? ya'll... I just... I can't even… *sigh* Thanks Jesus. If you are a first time reader or you've been around since 'lunch is on me' I just want to say… Thank you!

Now that all the sappy stuff is out the way let's get to the good stuff! 
Can I be completely honest right quick? 
I have a problem. 

What happens is this, I find very little gumption to do things I see no purpose in. If I don't see how any given thing is going to play out then I will not do it. This is why I stopped blogging. I have a dream to be a full time blogger/writer and the first time around blogging was just stupid to me. I was pouring my heart out into my writing and all it got me was jeers from those around me about not having a "real job". I was over it, I honestly never saw how anything would transpire before I began and I proved myself right.(yet again, but thats a story for another time.) I didn't realized this way of thinking, this level of fear, this depth of doubt was a problem. I didn't see it as me defying christ in any way I just saw it as "it is what it is". I only realized this was a problem because as I looked around my shattered dreams and humdrum life my heart grew more desperate for Christ, and as I began to truly abide in Christ I began to adapt to his qualities and characteristics. I learned the mildly arduous way that God requires blind trust sometimes. Sometimes you just gotta stop, flush the flesh and trust. Walking towards God's guidance with a mind set to fail,(most call it a "plan B") as I did, is still a lack of trust even if your simply "doing what your told". God had to do something about that! So from June to Dec. I began to walk with my eyes closed, i didn't see, i didn't know, i just looked at him and took it one step at a time. I did bump into things, like, it wasn't 100% smooth sailing, However, when I opened my eyes funfabSAVED was a REAL THING!, not some mediocre attempt to become an overnight sensation, as my blog was the first time around. It was the Real deal! My dreams manifesting right before my eyes! Even when I didn't have a clear understanding as to where God was leading, I learned that when I am actively walking in the will of Christ and pursuing his heart things will indeed work together for my good. 

I said I was being honest right? With all that I have seen and with all that I know I still sometimes struggle with obeying God simply because I see no purpose in certain things. The problem is still there. kinda. I don't get me.(rom7.) I know one thing though, as I continue to walk in grace I will stop being so doggone hard headed. It isn't difficult, there is no long process before I can break free. I am just stubborn, and that's just the God honest truth. 

So you see, Contrary to popular belief JesiRae really doesn't have it all together!(no one has ever thought that…. ever). 
One major thing I learned through this experience that has changed me to my core is that fearlessly and bodily acknowledging my problem(s) to God and to myself ushered me into a deeper connection with God, and set me on a journey to healing and being completely free in him[1john1.9 God already knew this;p], when I got real, things got real. So today, I dare YOU to do the same thing I did, fearlessly and boldly admit to yourself and to God something you want to be set free from. (you can even go a step further and share in the comments below if you so choose.) The beauty of the cross is the fact that christ died for that very problem. Don't believe the lie, we don't have to live with it, it doesn't always have to be a long process, we don't even have to deal with it. Give it to God. Freedom is possible. No more excuses. Just start walking! Together we can!

<3 ∞,

JesiRae